


Impulse, the Faltering Heart

by zanthe



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Possession, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanthe/pseuds/zanthe
Summary: For eons, Alvis and Meyneth have been trying to end the vicious cycle, to put a stop to Zanza once and for all. In Shulk, they see hope that it can be done. If only things had turned out that way.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Impulse, the Faltering Heart

**Author's Note:**

> What's up I just spent the last 4 hours nonstop writing this. Based loosely on some super old concepts I've been remembering all week.

===========================================================================

_ Tell me, will you try again? I fear he will not be merciful if we try to overthrow him once more. _

_ What choice is there? I want nothing more than to free you, Mother. I will try to guide the child, perhaps this is the one. _

_ I pray that you are right, Alvis. For both our sakes. _

===========================================================================

In the pale light of dusk, as long shadows cast themselves upon the colony, a pale silver cat trotted gracefully through the empty streets, long whiskers shimmering under the street lights. Many deemed it a stray, others whispered it was far too elegant to be one, but none had ever laid a hand upon it, and any who pursued would find the cat to disappear upon turning a corner.

Obviously, it was no ordinary animal, hidden behind long, silky fur laid a key, and its pale green eyes held an unmistakable wisdom. With silent pawsteps it followed a mustached blond man, who paid the animal no mind, until behind closed doors it spoke.

"How is the child?" It asked with a gentle voice, perched upon a shelf, staring at a sleeping figure. 

"He's fine, still hasn't woken up, though." The man sighed, rubbing his shoulder, "He should wake up soon, but Zanza's never taken this long." 

"A drawback of the child's death, perhaps. It may take more energy to restore him than we thought, but then again, killing the child hadn't been part of the plan." The cat's ear flicked in annoyance, eyes narrowing to slits as it glared accusingly at the man.

"Save that murderous intent for Zanza," the man frowned, shrugging, "I ain't the one who killed the poor brat, it was the Monado, I guess he got careless, or just greedy. Anyways, I gotta ask, why that look?" He raised a brow at the feline.

If cats could shrug, this one certainly would have done so, but instead it tilted its head, whiskers quivering in amusement, "It's a new perspective, and my only other form is not quite ready yet. If I showed up in Homs form here, I'd risk being recognized later, and we wouldn't want that, would we?" 

"Suppose not, but you could've just made a different form." The man rolled his eyes, and the cat chuckled softly. 

"Yes, but this one is quite the source of entertainment, Dickson." With the flick of its tail the cat jumped down, heading for the open window. "Now, I have other matters to attend to. I will return to see if the boy has awoken yet." 

"Yeah, you'll be the first to know, Alvis." Dickson huffed as the cat disappeared, shaking his head and leaning against the wall, reaching for a cigar. "Pain in the neck."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Through pale green eyes he watched the boy grow up. He started out as an awkward child, rarely speaking and with eyes seemingly devoid of life. A husk of the child he had been before, until the curiosity returned and the boy made friends with another pair of orphans. 

Such strange little details, Alvis noted as he observed. The boy's hair rarely grew, and no matter how long he slept he always seemed tired, and even three years later he still spoke so little, despite how smart he was in school. His friends, Fiora and Reyn, were at his side, initially due to pity, and now due to love, they cared about him, and it seemed he cared for them, too.

Naturally, the boy took an interest in the Monado, and he seemed to be of a gentle nature, even treating creatures he feared with kindness, panicking as he trapped a stray caterpillar under a jar and slid a letter beneath it, running outside to place it on the grass away from home. It was a relief to see, most of Zanza's hosts turned so  _ violent _ ... But so far, it seemed Shulk would turn out differently, and ever so cautiously he reported to Meyneth, bowing his head in respect to his mother as he told her of the boy's progress. In the pale light of the shrine, his eyes shone the same silver of his fur as he stared up at his mother proudly, surely this was the one they had been waiting for. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The time was drawing near now, and Alvis would soon bid farewell to his feline form, the form of a cat who had once belonged to Klaus, the one he was named after. When the day came for Shulk to wield the Monado, Alvis watched from the safety of undergrowth as the kind and gentle boy got his first taste of true anger.

It concerned him, to be truthful, he had to wonder how much of that rage was a result of Zanza, and how much was truly him. His target was the Face Mechon with the claws, and in him was a newfound hunger, the hunger for revenge. Even his friend, Reyn, seemed off put by the quiet anger, but soon the two set out on their journey, and with a final sigh, Alvis let go of the feline form.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shulk had never felt such a strong emotion before, never in his life had such a feeling consumed him. Anger that shook him to his core and made him itch for battle, to deliver punishment for the death of his closest friend. A quiet whisper in the back of his mind that told him they would pay, and they would pay dearly. A life for a life, he would claim justice for all who had lost their lives to these vile machines. 

That feeling grew upon seeing the ravaged remains of Colony 6, and hatred burned at his fingertips as the Faced Mechon taunted him outside the mines, a hatred so powerful it began to tear through the monster. It spoke like a Homs, and through the distortion there was something familiar, but he paid it no mind, that didn't matter, nothing else mattered but its death.

Reyn began to worry about him, Dunban as well. Sharla didn't seem to notice, or care, or maybe it was because she didn't know him as much as the others, though he overheard Reyn talk to her about what he had been like before the Mechon. 

Gentle, kind, quiet, frail. How much of that remained? Shulk wondered if he was being unreasonable in his anger, if Dunban was right about it beginning to consume him, but why did it matter as long as he put an end to the Mechon? He would use this hatred to fuel himself, to protect everyone else and prevent further casualties, didn't they understand that?

For some reason, they didn't, and silently, as they slept, Shulk detached himself from the group, obeying the whisper in his head that told him eventually, they would do nothing but slow him down.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Resolute, Shulk proceeded alone, to Alvis's dismay. In dreams he tried to coax the boy into returning to his friends, to listen to their words and heed their warnings. In person, they met far too early, and his presence there drew in the Mechon's invasion while his group of friends remained in Makna, attempting to help Melia before they moved on in pursuit of Shulk. 

Kallian joined him instead, accompanying him to Prison Island in pursuit of Sorean, who, against his better judgement, had chosen to go to Prison Island to stop the Mechon's assault. Alvis, of course, went with them. 

"What do you plan to do, once we arrive at Prison Island?" Kallian had asked, feathers bristling as the gate opened.

"I saw it in a vision, this is where I'll gain the power to defeat the Mechon." Shulk had replied in a tone akin to ice, the hate in his eyes sending a shiver through him. 

Onward they went, and it was here that Alvis knew he had made a terrible choice in choosing Shulk.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Monado was unshackled, the Emperor was dead, and Shulk was poised to take a furious swing at Metal Face when the other Mechon intervened. That didn't matter, though, he thought to himself as he dropped his blade in a heavy swing, it didn't matter, because he would cut through it now with ease,  _ like a hot knife through butter, _ and he  _ did. _

_ And it bled. _

Metal Face, who had been spared from the killing blow, stumbled backwards as the Silver Mechon fell to its knees, and in horror, all those present stared. Metal face, in fear, Shulk, in horror, Kallian, in shock, and Alvis, in pure, heart wrenching dismay. 

=============================================================================

**_You were a fool to come here, Meyneth, you were far too weak to withstand such a blow._ **

_ Mother..? Why are you here? You shouldn't... He shouldn't have...  _

_ Alvis... I'm so sorry... _

=============================================================================

The Silver Faced Mechon bled, bright red liquid contrasting against pale white metal, and Metal Face beat a hasty retreat as Silver collapsed on the ground in a pool of black. 

Alvis was first to move, hesitant in his steps as he moved towards the Mechon, and then desperate, clawing at the armor and prying it free to retrieve the pilot. Something else clattered to the floor, followed by a heavy thump, and when he spared a glance backwards he saw Shulk staring in horror, face pale and eyes wide as the limp body was carried to the floor. 

Alvis knelt above her, his mother, Shulk's friend, both in one, both fading. Fiora's body, Meyneth's soul, he felt the tears falling, they were gone. His mother was dead, and it was his own fault for making her believe Shulk would save them all. 

"I'm sorry, Meyneth," he choked out with a sob, "I promise you, I'll find a way someday..." 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shulk felt numb as he watched a body be retrieved from the Mechon, but when he realized who it was he felt his legs give out, felt himself fall to the floor, staring at his hands. 

What had he just done?

_ It was necessary. She was one of them. _

She was his friend, the reason he was even here fighting!

_ A friend who allies with Mechonis? A traitor, more like. _

__ But why would Fiora ever ally with  _ Mechonis _ ?

_ Why does it matter, she was with them, and now she's dead. The same will befall every other vile machine. _

He'd  _ killed _ her! 

_ And you will have to kill more. _

A sick feeling coursed through Shulk as he stood up, making his way towards Fiora, but as he stepped closer Alvis let out a snarl and turned to face him. 

" _ You stay away from here _ ," he hissed, " _ I believed you'd be  _ good. _ A  _ hero.  _ Someone who could save us. It seems I was mistaken."  _

Kallian looked at him oddly, but he didn't dare move away from his father, nor could he even speak. Shulk spoke instead, in a voice not quite his own, breathing out words that weren't his, "You should have known better than to try to defy me." 

He felt far too hollow to move, and yet he stepped forward, losing control of himself, bright yellow light crackling across his skin. His sight fixed on Alvis, who stood, glaring at him, taking a step backwards with every step he moved forward. He tried to reign himself in, and for a moment he succeeded, stumbling momentarily and feeling his heart racing, blood thrumming in his ears, but control was soon lost once more as the voice in his head told him to surrender. 

"Don't forget who you belong to," the voice not his own spoke to Alvis, "you have no choice but to obey, Alvis." 

"I was just as much Meyneth's as I was yours!" Alvis snapped, back hitting the Mechon with his last step. 

"Listen to your father, Alvis," the voice taunted. 

" _ You _ are  _ not _ my  _ father! _ " he spat, "My father was a kind man, his one crime was that compelled by curiosity! He loved me, Klaus loved me, you are nothing but a pathetic afterthought of the man he was!" 

"I still love you, Alvis," the voice hummed, "even if you've tried so hard to turn traitorous..." 

Alvis shook his head, "This isn't love, Zanza," he whispered, voice breaking, "This isn't love..."

Finally, Zanza, the voice in Shulk's head had a name attached now, reached him as Shulk watched helplessly. "Even if it's not, what choice do you have?" He whispered, stroking Alvis's face gently with one hand, "You are a computer... you will do as you're told." 

He then turned to Kallian, stepping forward and picking up the Monado with murderous intent. "I'm afraid I can't allow you to live, having witnessed all of that," Zanza hummed, and the High Entia man made no move to run, bowing his head with wide eyes fixed on the rocky floor beneath him. 

" _ Don't... _ " Alvis begged him, and Zanza laughed a cold, cruel laugh, "please, I'll take care of him." 

"You can take care of him in his new form," Zanza responded, and his actions faltered as Shulk fought his control once more, trying not to allow the Monado to be raised, but the light above him forced his hand with a painful crackle, the Monado fell upon Kallian, and a harsh pulse of ether coursed through them both. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pain was sharp and instantaneous, brief, and it faded for a moment, until a headache threatened to split his head and Kallian could feel his body respond to the surge of ether that Shulk - No, Zanza - had delivered to him. It hurt, and his mind was fading as his body changed, and his final thoughts were of the fact his father had died for nothing, as he would too, and a prayer that perhaps Melia would be alright.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shulk stopped fighting it when Kallian was transformed, felt nothing but static in his heart, what could be done now? Suddenly, he was given control again, and he collapsed on the floor, dragging himself to his knees to look at Alvis. He was met with cold hatred, the kind he once felt in himself, and blinked, staring down at the Monado. 

He heard Alvis softly call to the Telethia, and watched as it flew off with him, screeching. The storm outside began to clear, and Shulk stayed there, wondering what to do next.

_ What of the Mechon? Surely you're not planning to allow their existence. _ Zanza prompted him, and on wobbly legs he forced himself to stand, gripping the Monado tightly and staring at Fiora's corpse.  _ They did this to her, they turned her into this, they forced your hand. Now, it's your turn to hurt them. _

Maybe he would have agreed before, but Shulk felt far too hollow for hatred now, yet he still moved towards the exit from Prison Island, still stared towards Mechonis, Zanza was right, he had to destroy the Mechon, he had to listen to  _ him _ . If he didn't, he would be forced to again, the golden light crackling above his head would make him. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His friends caught up to him at Sword Valley, and apparently Alvis had told them all of what had happened. A High Entian girl approached him with wings spread and bristling and staff tightly clenched, and Reyn held her back. 

"Turn back," Shulk spoke calmly, taking hold of the Monado but not activating it just yet. "I don't need your help."

"We ain't here to help you," Reyn muttered sadly, "We're here to stop you. Mechonis may be our enemy, but what's gonna happen when you get your revenge, ay? Alvis told us Zanza's not gonna let you stop there." 

With a flick, the Monado activated, and the party drew their own weapons. "Please, I don't want to fight you." Shulk said, and Zanza chuckled from deep within him.  _ Not that they could stop you, either, not with me here. _

__ "Sorry, Shulk, but someone's gotta try."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Halfway through the battle, the light took control of him, and his movements became less hesitant, more precise, more deadly, as much as he tried to fight it. Really, he didn't want to hurt them, but his hand was forced by the snap of bright gold, and soon the only one left standing was Dunban, but he too was knocked down easily. They weren't dead, not yet, and Shulk hoped this was enough. If they crossed paths again, Zanza wouldn't show mercy.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wanted to stop, his friends were right, but the light forced him forward.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soon, he came face to face with the leader of Mechonis, Egil, and before he or Zanza could react, a harsh voice rang out.

_ "Apocrypha, activate." _

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For a minute, Shulk collapsed to the floor, pain searing through his entire body as the Monado deactivated and clattered beside him. Zanza shouted something at him, but an instant later his voice all but vanished, and Shulk was left sitting there, alone. 

"It was a poor choice, coming here alone," Egil spoke, stepping towards him, "I've rendered the Monado useless, you have no hope of victory, or escape." 

"Good," Shulk whispered, noting the absence of the light that could possess him, "I surrender, but can I ask for something in return?"

Egil hesitated for a moment, and then replied, "... Speak." 

"Kill me." Shulk said, propping himself up with the Monado, "Kill me now, and stop Zanza." 

There was a long pause, and then the golden Mechon stepped forward, "I'm afraid I cannot agree to that." 

"Why not?!" Shulk yelled, desperation lacing his voice, there had to be a way to stop him!

"Because killing you now would release Zanza, I'm sure you understand the rest." 

Shulk blinked up at the Mechon as he approached, and he sighed, giving in. "So be it."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slowly but surely, Zanza's resistance to the Apocrypha grew, until Shulk's mind burned with that terrible light, and gold sparked against his skin once more. Even without the Monado, the god held immeasurable power, more than ever now with Meyneth's death tipping the balance in his favor. 

He tried, really, he did, but eventually Shulk's spirit was forced into obedience once more, and he could do nothing other than stare as the light puppeteered him into fighting. Egil first, the power coursing through him made him easy enough, and soon after his friends again, when they tried once more to stop him, and then there was nothing left to fight. 

When the fighting was done, Zanza left his body, but not before the light seared scars into his flesh, marking him as the next Disciple, even if the welcome was less than warm. It was a surprise to find Dickson was one of them, and Lorithia seemed like she couldn't care less, but Alvis...

Oh, the hatred Alvis bore for him was like no other, and as Zanza created a new world, he could feel the AI's cold stare, and Zanza's wicked smile that let him know he was only alive to spite Alvis. 

"You are nothing more than another failed hero," Alvis had told him, "but what makes you the worst is the hope you gave Meyneth and I." 

He didn't understand, what hope? 

"Had you just listened..." 

Ah, that was true, Shulk couldn't deny it. Had he listened, reigned in the hatred, maybe everyone would still be alive.

"Is it making sense now?" Alvis glared at him.

Weakly, Shulk nodded, and the AI huffed at him.

"Good. It seems Zanza has no plans of letting you die, but that's good. You can live with the weight of what you allowed to happen, for the rest of eternity," he bristled, and in a flash, disappeared, leaving Shulk painfully alone. 

He at least had Dickson, but the fact he had been working with Zanza all along left a sickening feeling in Shulk's gut, so there was little comfort to be given by him. Maybe time would make it hurt less, but he doubted it would. 

Staring at the starless sky, Shulk wondered what would become of him, knowing there was nothing he could do now. 

**Author's Note:**

> https://twitter.com/Grimtomes/status/1297791164041572352/photo/1 A little something I drew before writing this.


End file.
